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3. Double dipping

Leon was preplanned and painfully average.


Upon breaking up with my ex I confided in my best friends for support and empathy. It wasn’t long before Phoebe had set me up on a date with one of her boyfriends’ friends.


In hindsight, I probably should have canceled the date. I had slept with Ollie the night before, I felt tired and I was hungover. Despite that, when Phoebe messaged to ask if the date with Leon was still on, I responded with an excited ‘yes’ and something about being super horny (despite having a penis in my vagina not 5 hours before).


As Leon lived 30 minutes away from my apartment (and I wasn’t ready for sleepovers with strangers), Phoebe acted as my chauffeur dropping me at the date and picking me up. Wearing sliders, a north face jacket, and a topknot, she handed me some condoms and shouted ‘have fun’ like the cool mum from Mean Girls.


Leon was very attractive with a fantastic set of teeth (something I rate highly). We shared a bottle of sour wine at a pub before heading straight back to his, which was conveniently just around the corner. As the hookup was pre-meditated and I was quite drunk it felt relatively easy. We started kissing on the stairs and I was quickly led up to his bedroom. Despite the passion of the kissing and the promise of the undressing, I had the familiar feeling of not knowing what I was doing. Luckily it seemed that Leon has also lost his rhythm. The whole event from first walking through the door lasted about 10 minutes with a few sloppy kisses and a handful of thrusts with a semi-erect penis. The positions were vanilla as we tried, in vain, to get the mood going again. Leon apologised for his performance and disappeared into another room. I realised from the sound of running water and steam that Leon had left me alone to have a shower. Whilst I found this odd, I also felt relief. I saw my opportunity and messaged Phoebe with an SOS: save our sister. By the time Leon had finished in the shower, she was well on her way to collect me.


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