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5. Wine to make you feel fine

The two weeks’ in my bachelorette pad soon morphed into my brothers’ gaming room. (See Blog 1 for details).


As Ollie and I agreed we wouldn’t be exclusive, I decided that I would try out a dating app. I had heard about Hinge from a friend, which boasted the speed and efficiency of popular apps like Tinder, with the bonus of catchphrases and jokes making it seem slightly less like a hook-up platform. Needless to say, the quality of men surrounding the small village where my parents are based was average at best. A key moment where I felt all hope was lost was when some old school acquaintances (including my ex from when I was 15) started sliding into my DM’s with the classic ‘Saw you on Hinge. Does that mean you’re single now? Looking good’.


Feeling trapped, I wanted to see a familiar face and arranged to meet my old school friend, Alex, at our local pub. It didn’t take us long to sink three bottles of wine. After a flirtatious evening, we toyed with the idea of sleeping together, wondering if our friendship could take the hit. At 20:47 I messaged my brother, who was meant to be collecting me, confidently stating I would be staying out for the rest of the evening.


Fortunately, we avoided that drunken mistake.


Drinking with COVID restrictions is almost too easy. You can order your drinks via an app so there’s no queuing. You always order more than one drink at a time just in case there’s a long wait. You don’t move around and sense how drunk you are. By 21:15 we stepped outside into the fresh air. the wine hit me like a double-decker bus and I immediately felt nauseous.


Unable to see clearly, I frantically messaged my brother to ask if someone could pick me up (see messages in photos). I started to feel hot and sweaty and my mouth became dry as soon as I got into mums' civic. I tried to focus on the horizon as they tell you to do when you feel seasick on a boat. ‘Don’t you dare throw up in my car!’ Mum snapped at me. Too late. I skilfully pulled the sleeve of my coat from my wrist and subtly spat out the vomit that was already in my mouth down the side of my arm. Not a single drop ended up in the car, so really, mum should be proud of my precision.


Regardless, it was clear that if I was going to continue my reckless behaviour, I needed my own place.







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